Thursday, 10 February 2011

Stick to the Rules!

I live in a relatively rural area, so driving is pretty much a necessity.  My daughter’s school is a few kilometres away and every morning we have a beautiful drive across a wide open plain that we’re lucky to live close to.

It is a simply stunning place and sprawls to the horizon with all the romance of a Bronte novel, without the angst.

Look at it.  It's beautiful.

Being so far reaching and flat, the plain is prone to fog.  Not a surprise.  The speed limit is 60 kmph, sensible enough, yes? 

Therefore my ever increasing irritation with certain plonkers who drive across it like they’re taking part in a Grand Prix is, I believe, understandable.

Take the Dolly Bird I encountered this morning.  There she was driving her rather large car well above the speed limit while chatting on her phone which was clenched between her jaw and shoulder.

Like I said earlier, this area is prone to fog and this morning, visibility wasn’t great.  So, did Dolly Bird have her fog lamps on?

No she did not; in fact she didn’t have any lights on. 

Why would she?  She’s obviously too important to put herself through the trauma of flicking a whole switch.

As she approached me, we were both directing our cars over a series of speed bumps, which are on the road on purpose to slow cars down because there is a school.  Right there, beside the road, Stevie Wonder couldn’t miss it.

But Dolly Bird couldn’t be bothered with slowing down, nor, it would appear, use both hands to steer. 

So Dolly Bird starts to veer over the white line and aim the 2 tonnes of metal she’s in control of at me.  And whose fault would that be? Why mine, of course!  I was on the correct side of the road, hands at ten to two, safe speed, checking mirrors etc.  How dare I!

Dolly Bird with all those things she’s got going on at once, still manages to flip Yours Truly the bird while cruising back onto her own side of the road and into a puddle which splashed a child walking into school.

I was infuriated, but not just because I was sticking to the rules in order to transport my own children to and from school safely, but because she had kids in the back of her own car too!

There is only one thing to call this Dolly Bird – a  *’#@£%*$)@~# !!!  But I had to internalise it because the kids would pounce on the opportunity to point out "Mummy said a bad word".

For me, it’s black and white; there are rules of the road for a reason.   They are not just guidelines or something that doesn’t apply to certain people because they believe they’re the world’s greatest driver or unbreakable or whatever. 

They are there so that we can all use our vehicles correctly, sensibly and most importantly – safely.

Speed kills, drinking and driving kills, driving tired kills, driving under the influence of drugs kills, driving irresponsibly kills, driving while talking or texting on a mobile phone kills. 

I am not making this stuff up and I know from television around the world that this problem is not confined to my neck of the woods.

Evidently responsibility for ones actions is a lesson Dolly Bird and others like her have yet to learn; hopefully that knowledge won’t be bestowed upon them at the expense of their own or someone else’s children.

But Dearest Reader, although Dolly Bird is not alone in her ability to make me want to rip her oesophagus straight out of her throat and play the theme from Deliverance on it, there is one thing that sets her apart and it’s this week’s Bright Side.

You see later in the day, I encountered Dolly Bird again, but this time she was pulled over and being spoken to sternly by a lovely police officer and looking quite sheepish. 

It doesn’t happen enough to her kind, but oh how sweet to witness when it does.


  1. I am so with you on this post. We live on a rural B road that is, unfortunately, national speed limit with no pavement and I've lost count of the times Lewis Hamilton wannabes have sped up the lane, frightening the life out of me. More power to the plods!

  2. ah you should have stopped the car and given a round of applause to the policeman!!

  3. Love it! It's always nice when karma comes along. You did so much better than me, I wouldn't have been able to contain my anger and I have *ahem* been known to curse while K has been in the backseat for which she reprimands me sharply. But on the bright side, if she were ever to join the army she'd already have the required colourful language!