Friday, 15 April 2011

What's Perfect Anyway?

Recently, during a conversation with a friend of mine, it came up that I had an argument with my other half the week before.
She looked at me in shock!  Then said to me something I’ve never heard before.  She said she thought we were perfect and never argued.
Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather.
I thought everybody argued?
We do, granted we could go weeks in perfect harmony but then he’ll put a dish into the dishwasher with a mushroom stuck to it or I’ll give in to one of the kids too easily and boom, we’re into a doozy.
There are so many things to argue about, it’s hard to just pick one. 
There are things that are no big deal and you just get on with either by ignoring or joining in, like my attempt to take an interest in Formula 1 or my other half’s attempt to watch sub-titled films.  I used the word ‘attempt’ twice just to drive home the effort entailed in these activities.
As humans we constantly strive for two things that fascinate me.  Firstly being part of a group, like a couple or family and secondly, having our own way all the time and really, those two things rarely happen in harmony.
When we were first new parents, we had very clear ideas of what perfection within our family would be and just how sure we were of achieving it.  Frankly, we were obnoxious.  
Then reality kicked in and we joined the group of parents with tired faces and expressions that said well done for trying, but I’m really glad you’re over that annoying phase of thinking you’re the first and only parents on Earth and are ready to accept that all you can do is your best.
These days, if we have gone a whole week without anyone getting seriously injured and they’ve eaten an ok amount of healthy food, we feel like we’ve conquered Everest.
So just what is perfection?  Wouldn’t it be great if it was just making the most of what you already had? 
I am not now, nor will I ever be anything close to a Stepford wife and my other half will always think it’s funny to jump out of a dark corner and frighten me half to death whenever he gets the chance.
The truth is, I don’t know what a perfect couple is and I don’t think anyone else does either.  I feel like we’re a project, constantly learning, adjusting and coping with changes in our lives.
In the greater scheme of things, most of our arguments are no big deal, but in a world of stress, kids, work, not enough sleep, never ending and ever increasing bills, they can push one over the edge.  Coming back from that edge is important though.
On the Bright Side, the making up can be fun.


  1. A friend said to Hubby and myself that they thought we were the perfect couple. Hubby replied "no, we are like the couple on Father Ted". We just don't do it in public.As you say lack of sleep and stress can add to the tension but making up is the best part:)

  2. Hi Laura,I have tagged you. Hope you will join in X