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Sunday, 26 June 2011

Diary of a 6 Year Olds Birthday Party



Zero minus 48 hours – almost 6 year old is sick, temperature, sore throat, no appetite (this last one bewilders me). 

Zero minus 24 hours – almost 6 year old is no better, but fully convinced she will be completely recovered by tomorrow morning so that she can go to school and have everyone sing happy birthday to her.

Zero minus 22 hours – of the 21 kids invited, 19 now say they are coming.  This goes completely against the statistics.  Must be a slow social day for 6 years olds.

Zero minus 18 hours – almost 6 year old running a temperature of 39.8.  Also, it hasn’t stopped raining for 3 days.

Zero minus 6 hours – my little one is finally 6; she thinks she looks taller this morning.  Going to school.  Still running a high temperature, doesn’t look so good, but refuses to accept possibility of being sick on her birthday.

Zero minus 4 hours – the bouncy castle has arrived.  It fits in the garden – Just! If any kid bounces over the back of it, they’ll have to stay there until the bouncy castle people come to retrieve it as no normal adult could possibly fit back there.

Zero minus 2 hours – it hasn’t stopped raining – AT ALL!  Bouncy castle is floating eerily in back garden.  Water slopping all over the deck.  I will not panic, I will not panic, I will not panic.

Zero minus 30 mins – collect 6 year old from school, she’s shivering.  Forehead feels hot as a toaster, still insists she feels fine, but agrees to some medicine to make me feel better.  Rain easing up.  Help arrives in form of 2 sisters and mother. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

2 pm – Party Time!  The rain has stopped and the early arrivals have kindly used their bottoms to dry off the last of the rain from the bouncy castle. 

2.10 pm – have already figured out which child is going to be “the one”.  "The one" wants to know when we’re having birthday cake, now!

2.15pm – 2 children have somehow clambered onto the roof of the bouncy castle.  I have made it very clear that is not ok.

2.16pm – apparently I didn’t make it clear enough.  They did it again, jumped off the roof onto slide sticking out the side of the bouncy castle, bouncing a little girl clean off it onto the still soggy lawn. 

2.17pm – am hoarse, but think I have finally made my feelings about climbing onto roof of bouncy castle clear.

2.20pm – “the one” wants to know what’s in my handbag.

2.30pm – there are now 20 children in my house.

2.40pm – sun is out, kids laughing; table full of junk food has been discovered.  Looking good.

2.55pm – first casualties, somehow during a bit of bouncing/sliding two heads collided with the nose of one head going into the mouth of the other head.  The one who ingested the nose assures me she tried really hard not to bite.  The inserter of the nose disagrees with this analysis and wants justice.  I give them both more sweets.

3.15pm – the toddler has had enough of his sisters friends playing with his toys.  He’s really quite vocal about it.  They all think he’s adorable when he’s angry.

3.35pm – I have a feeling my sisters are quite relieved to be childless and considering staying that way.

3.45pm – “the one” is demanding McDonalds as sandwiches and rice krispie buns are boring.           

4pm – We bring out the cake and sing happy birthday to 6 year old.  Am choking up, where did the last 6 years go?

4.05pm – “the one” and I have an altercation in the kitchen over the size of the pieces of cake I'm cutting.  Frighteningly strong for such a small child but I manage to keep my hold on the cake knife.

4.10 pm – 6 year old bursts into tears, she doesn’t know why.  Looks like someone drew circles under her eyes with charcoal, she feels warm.  She, Daddy & I have a cuddle on the couch, her friends want to know if she’s ok – awwwww!

4.20pm – Second casualty, lovely little one has hurt her little finger.  She’s very brave, but it looks swollen.  Time to bring out the Magic Cream (Arnica).

4.25pm – “the one” is demanding some of the fancy carrot cake my mother brought for the grown-ups.  No flipping chance.

4.35pm – first child to leave.  Time to bring out the party bags.  I’ve been reliably informed by at least a dozen kids that it’s really really really important I don’t forget to give them theirs.

4.40pm – 5pm – most of the children leave, we seem to have a lot of socks on the deck that don’t belong to us.

5.10pm – “the one” leaves, giving me hugs and kisses and tells me it was the best party ever – little love.

6.30pm – toddler still going on bouncy castle, at one point almost falls asleep while climbing back up on it.

8pm – bouncy castle goes home.  6 year old in near catatonic state, toddler devastated, waves bye bye to bouncy castle through tears.

9pm – thanks to mother and sisters, our sitting and dining rooms are almost normal.  Other half and I so tired, we’re in pain.  Ears still ringing from shocking amount of noise generated by 20 kids.

6 year old already looking forward to turning 7.

Monday, 20 June 2011

The Tooth Fairy Cometh



The Tooth Fairy finally came to our house this past weekend.  Not once but twice.
We had been waiting a long time, a very long time indeed.  The lose tooth had been wobbling, squeaking, squelching, turning, moving in any number of directions up to 90 degrees for months.
So long, in fact, that the new tooth was half way up behind it when finally, last Friday a gentle tug was all it took and out it popped into my delighted very almost six year olds beautiful and grubby little hand.
Months earlier, when the initial wobbling of the tooth began I fussed about and spoke to lots of other parents about what the going rate was for a milk tooth. 
The consensus was 2 euro per tooth was fair considering the current financial climate. 
So a shiny 2 euro coin was put aside in the inside pocket of my handbag for the occasion.
Luckily we got it right, as it turned out, our almost six year old had discussed in detail with her school friends what she would get and a 2 euro coin was the minimum.  Phew!
There was great excitement on Saturday morning when the tooth was gone and the coin was in its place.  Sadly, later in the day, that joy was replaced by despair when browsing in a shoe shop the almost six year old let rip with an almost mirror shattering scream that her tooth was gone.  I thought temporary amnesia had occurred but it turned out she was talking about a second tooth.
Where and when the second tooth had fallen out was a complete mystery.  She remembered nothing of it.
I felt bad for her but it took me back about 34 years ago when I went on a nature walk with the Brownies, yes I was a diligent little Bluebell in our local pack.  I had many badges, no recollection of what any of them were for now, but I wore them with pride.
Anyway we were on our nature walk and as usual my brain trailed off in some far off direction that my imagination took me while I absently fiddled with a loose tooth hanging off my gums.  All of a sudden it popped out and I got such a shock I swallowed it.
I was so upset because I was convinced the tooth fairy wouldn’t visit me if I couldn’t put my tooth under my pillow; I can remember it as clearly now as the day it happened.
I sulked home and told my tale of woe to my family.   I was truly devastated despite being comforted and cajoled by my parents that it would all work out.
The next morning, my father called me into the bathroom where there right beside the toilet was my earnings from the tooth fairy. 
For at least four years I completely believed that the poor tooth fairy had to sift through my poo to find that tooth.
On the Brightside we did a Google search, (back to nowadays) and discovered that the Tooth Fairy uses magic to find lost teeth, so she would know where to look.  We left her a note just in case and first thing Sunday morning heard the squeals of delight from the almost six year olds bedroom.  She’s up 4 euro already.  If this keeps up, I’ll be asking her for a loan.

Friday, 3 June 2011

Sports Day


My daughter just had her very first ever Sports Day at school.  She was so excited she was fully dressed standing over us at 6.03 am on the morning of the big day.  It took me a while to talk her into our bed, well bribe with a promise of a cartoon; I wasn’t capable of a whole lot of talking at that hour.
I went along on the big day to support her, bringing the toddler, the camera and a picnic.
The camera turned out to be my most prized possession of the day.  Unfortunately the sheer amount of belly shaking, couldn't catch my breath for laughing caused many of the photos taken to be blurry, but boy was it worth it.
The toddler turned out to be one of the more exuberant supporters of the day.  He even went so far as to join in.  As in run down the field during the sack race and then just keep going past the finish line and beyond to the fence to chants of “Run Forest Run”.
I should point out he runs like a speed walker with his little tushy clenched and shoulders pushing up to his ears.  I should also point out I was the only one calling him Forest, but it just seemed so fitting.
The organisation at the school was incredible; I’m in awe of teachers and how well they hold it together while all around them are little people doing things that make no sense.  Eating weird stuff off the ground, climbing each other, walking backwards or just spinning until they fell over. 
I had forgotten spinning just for the hell of it, I used to love it, afraid to do it now of course, and I don’t like the falling over part anymore.  It’s not worth it without wine to soften the blow.
The teachers managed to get so many things done with all the kids taking part and within the allowed time frame.  I would like to be taught how to do that.  I didn’t notice any of them eat or use the loo though, which worries me.
So, there were multiple egg and spoon races, where potatoes were used I presume for their durability, relay races and my favourite, the one where they pass a bean bag to the person behind them by bending over and handing it between their legs and then run to the back of the line.  Oh that one had me leaning on the fence for support, I laughed so hard.
Then to polish off a great day, along came the picnic.  I stood on poo that I think came from a sheep.  The toddler seemed to take up the entire blanket.  We ate soggy sandwiches.  The fruit was ignored.  I got to meet some nice parents I hadn’t met before.  I watched my daughter interact with the other little people she spends all her days with and tells me very little about.
Yep, it was a good day for all of us.


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