Things They Say
Allow me to demonstrate:
6 Year Old: You know how we have an extra chair at our table? Well let's go steal your brothers new baby and put her in it, then the kitchen will look all nice and neat for dinner.
9 Year Old: Mum, were you alive in the olden days?
Me: How olden are we talking?
9 Year Old: Before mobile phones.
Me: (sigh) Yes
9 Year Old: Oh my god! How did you play candy crush saga?
6 Year Old: My friends mum has a new boyfriend, he buys him presents.
Me: That's nice of him.
6 Year Old: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: Because I'm with your Daddy.
6 Year Old: If you got a boyfriend, I wouldn't tell Daddy.
Toddler: I keeeeeeel you!
(I wouldn't let him drive my car).
6 Year Old: Well today we finished building the Millenium Falcon in school. It's the real life one, with lasers and everything. I'm exhausted.
9 Year Old: When will I know everything?
Me: Probably never.
9 Year Old: (sniggering) You're hilarious.
Toddler: Why you spray water at your pits?
(I was using deodorant)
6 Year Old: See that boy over there? He's a human. Like a real live one.
9 Year Old screaming from the sitting room: Look, I wrapped my brothers around each other and made them fall in love.
9 Year Old: Can we go to Lego Land some day?
9 Year Old: Can we go to Disney Land?
6 Year Old: Can we go to Infinity and Beyond?
Me: What would you like for lunch?
Toddler: Gum and cheese string.
6 Year Old: When I grow up I'm never eating stupid dinners.
Toddler walking around the house with a bookmark against his ear:
Me: How was your day at school?
6 Year Old: I watched fourteen hours of Garfield and played shooting games.