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Thursday, 18 November 2010

Dear So and So

I was delighted to discover the Dear So and So Letters recently thanks to Kat at 3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com via the always talented and lovely HotCrossMum.  I’m hooked and have been looking for them on blogs across the globe for weeks now.

Here’s my contribution.  It was so fun and quite therapeutic; I highly recommend the exercise to anyone really.


**
Dear Handyperson of Non Specific Gender,

Do I really look that stupid?

If that’s how much money can be made from fixing the side panel of a bath, then I’m in the wrong business.

I’ll keep shopping around thanks.

Yours with my arms folded because you keep looking at my boobs,

Missus.

**

Dear Government,

I am very disappointed in you.

Get onto the naughty step for a time out. 

One minute for each euro you’ve wasted.  That should keep you out of the way for long enough to stop you screwing things up any further.

Also, leave the elderly and the young alone you big bully.

Yours on the verge,

An Irish Citizen.

**

Dear Children,

Just because I say no to 95% of your requests does not make me a bad Mummy. 

Some day you will appreciate the below:

1. Chocolate does not a good breakfast make.
2. Cutting your own hair is always a bad idea.
3. Just because someone else has it doesn’t mean you have to have it too.
4. Taking out the paddling pool in November didn’t make it any warmer did it?
5. Saying why very loudly to every answer I give you could lead to mother shut down.
6. Swear words stop being funny very quickly.
7. Be nicer to your siblings, they will be the longest relationship of your life.
8. School is a great idea, for both of us.
9. I did actually exist before I brought you into the world.
10. Boring is a seriously over used word in our house.
11. It is not fun for me when you wait until after I change your nappy to do a poo.
12. It is actually great to have your cheeks kissed and be told how adorable you are, can I at least do it when no else is looking?
13. Lists are too a good idea, I make them because they help me remember stuff, not because I’m old.

Yours bedraggled,

Mummy.

**

Dear Marks & Spencer,

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for you selling the most delicious dark chocolate covered ginger biscuits ever.

Yours greedily,

Random Customer.

**

Dear Husband,

If you touch my dark chocolate covered ginger biscuits, I will unleash the hounds.

Before you ask, no, that is not a euphemism.

Yours,

The Wife.

**

Dear Children,

I realise this is the second letter you’re getting from me, but you are pushing it.

Stop wrestling!

Stop it!

Now!

Right Now!

Don’t make me come over there!

Yours infuriated,

Mother.

**

To read some more letters, look at Kats blog on http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/

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