Dear So and So

I was delighted to discover the Dear So and So Letters recently thanks to Kat at 3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com via the always talented and lovely HotCrossMum.  I’m hooked and have been looking for them on blogs across the globe for weeks now.

Here’s my contribution.  It was so fun and quite therapeutic; I highly recommend the exercise to anyone really.


**
Dear Handyperson of Non Specific Gender,

Do I really look that stupid?

If that’s how much money can be made from fixing the side panel of a bath, then I’m in the wrong business.

I’ll keep shopping around thanks.

Yours with my arms folded because you keep looking at my boobs,

Missus.

**

Dear Government,

I am very disappointed in you.

Get onto the naughty step for a time out. 

One minute for each euro you’ve wasted.  That should keep you out of the way for long enough to stop you screwing things up any further.

Also, leave the elderly and the young alone you big bully.

Yours on the verge,

An Irish Citizen.

**

Dear Children,

Just because I say no to 95% of your requests does not make me a bad Mummy. 

Some day you will appreciate the below:

1. Chocolate does not a good breakfast make.
2. Cutting your own hair is always a bad idea.
3. Just because someone else has it doesn’t mean you have to have it too.
4. Taking out the paddling pool in November didn’t make it any warmer did it?
5. Saying why very loudly to every answer I give you could lead to mother shut down.
6. Swear words stop being funny very quickly.
7. Be nicer to your siblings, they will be the longest relationship of your life.
8. School is a great idea, for both of us.
9. I did actually exist before I brought you into the world.
10. Boring is a seriously over used word in our house.
11. It is not fun for me when you wait until after I change your nappy to do a poo.
12. It is actually great to have your cheeks kissed and be told how adorable you are, can I at least do it when no else is looking?
13. Lists are too a good idea, I make them because they help me remember stuff, not because I’m old.

Yours bedraggled,

Mummy.

**

Dear Marks & Spencer,

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for you selling the most delicious dark chocolate covered ginger biscuits ever.

Yours greedily,

Random Customer.

**

Dear Husband,

If you touch my dark chocolate covered ginger biscuits, I will unleash the hounds.

Before you ask, no, that is not a euphemism.

Yours,

The Wife.

**

Dear Children,

I realise this is the second letter you’re getting from me, but you are pushing it.

Stop wrestling!

Stop it!

Now!

Right Now!

Don’t make me come over there!

Yours infuriated,

Mother.

**

To read some more letters, look at Kats blog on http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hot Cross Mum

Image
The first week of last September was a landmark one for me for a number of reasons. My daughter started school and I reluctantly went to my first parents coffee morning. I had been dreading it.   I felt low and inadequate. There I was, in the restaurant, gripping my son as though I was afraid someone would steal him, his sister had run off to primary school just two days earlier after all and I was delicate. I eyed the table and the introductions started.   As I scrambled to remember names I was sure I would be tested on later, a voice said “and I’m sure you know Hazel Gaynor, she’s Hot Cross Mum”. Well, relief flooded through me as I turned to the lady whose blog I had been following for months and whose commentary on her own life had made me realise I am not alone in my job as a stay at home parent. I was delighted to meet her, but what the hell was she doing at a coffee morning with a blog to write? Surely it takes every spare ounce of energy she has to pull it together week after
Read more

Button Pushing

Image
I recently got a letter from my daughter’s teacher.   It was a note really, but it was on a page and hand written with blue pen.   I needed to respond and am ashamed to say my first reaction was not what I would have expected from a word lover like myself. I checked my phone to see if I had her number so I could text her, I didn’t, so I checked the contact list to see if I had her email address.   I did not have that either. Finally, the penny dropped and I realised I needed to actually write back to her.   As in get a note pad and a pen and write a note. I used to write letters and notes all the time, right up until I was introduced to email way back when it was still new.    I remember thinking it wouldn’t catch on.   I thought the same about text messaging.   That’s why I won’t ever speculate on the stock market. If you’ve read one of my recent posts, you’ll know that of late, I’ve become quite obsessed with all things technical.   Particularly my lovely iPhone. I am not alone
Read more

My Perfect Gal

Earlier this week, I was tagged by the delightful and talented HotCrossMum She challenged me to list my top ten things in my perfect man/woman. There’s no point listing my top ten for a man, because my beloved man is smokin’ hot.   How could I possibly be limited to just ten things that make him perfect?   He broke the mould, I get a toothache just looking at him – Hi Babe, how’s work? Luckily, I have been blessed with a large number of fabulous women in my life.   I really do have a lot of them.   From family and friends, to other mothers I’ve met through my kids, I’ve always got someone to reach out to, be it with a crisis, for a laugh, for a cry, for a moan, for a bitch, or just for a ramble about nothing. So, this should be easy, however again, narrowing myself down to just ten things has been a bit of a challenge in itself, but here goes: My Perfect Woman 1.        Is an honest person, no matter how hard that is.   Even when I do something stupid like wear jeggings.   A
Read more