My Non-Bucket Bucket List

I have a guilty pleasure.

It is situation comedies.  You know those silly ones, where everyone looks like they just stepped out of a salon even at seven in the morning.  They go through divorces like it’s the most fun thing in the world.  Have really funny friends who are always there, no need to go to work, deal with their own lives, they’re permanently on tap for the leading lady or man of the show.  Everyone has incredible clothes and really clean houses with beautiful furnishings.  You know the type of program I mean.

Have you ever noticed how they always have unending fresh pots of coffee in their spotlessly clean percolators?  That fascinates me; if I’ve got coffee in my pot first thing in the morning, it’s usually because I forgot to clean it out the night before.

Anyway, the point of this musing is that one of these comedies involves a woman who throughout her career as a full time Mum has been putting together a list of all the things she plans to do once her children are grown and finished their education and essentially don’t need her anymore.

The heroine of this show has written down two hundred and twenty things on her list and so far in episode ten of the show, she appears to have done half of one of them.  They must be expecting a really long run.

Well this list of hers got me thinking, I’m just coming out of the nappy and feeds stage of motherhood on my second child and I’ve decided to do a list of my own.

A list of all the things I want to do between my children fleeing the nest and me kicking the bucket.  I’m hoping that stretch of my life lasts a while.  Even though, according one of the mid wives in the maternity hospital I gave birth in first time around, I came into motherhood late.  Don’t know what she was talking about, I may have been older in years, but I was a damn site more immature than most of the mothers to be in that clinic.

I don't want to call it my bucket list, that's the one you do when you know you're going to die isn't it?  Not that I don’t know I'm going to die, of course I am, I just don’t know when and that suits me fine even though normally, I don’t like surprises.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:
  1. Write something that matters.
  2. Meet A-Ha.
  3. Learn to tango.
  4. See the Northern Lights.
  5. Turn Stephen Fry straight.
  6. Try Botox.
  7. Grow marijuana, just to see if it really is as easy as growing parsley – no other reason.
  8. Finish a book by James Joyce.
  9. Do the 60 second quiz on Larry Gogans radio show.
  10. Get arrested.
  11. Audition for X Factor.
  12. Finally get up the nerve to climb the ladder into the attic.  If, as I suspect I do fall through the ceiling I won’t feel so bad about it when the children are grown up.  Note to self – leave this one till last.
  13. Re master high heels.
  14. Visit India.
  15. Moon someone.
  16. Get a tattoo.
Well, that’s a good start for now, but I’m going to keep going and start ticking things off the list as soon as I can.

How about you?  What’s your bucket list?

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