The Ballad of My False Nails


At first I was afraid,

I was petrified.

Kept thinkin' I could never live with you by my side;

But then I spent so many nights

Just feeling sorry for myself,

And I grew strong and I learned how to glue you on,

And I looked good, ten talons long, French manicured, no chips or breaks,

I showed you off all day long.

I’d never been a dollybird,

Hardly got nails manicured,

But if I’d have known for just one second you would break right off on me,

I would have bought, extra strength glue,

I would have burned my cuticles just to look good with you.

Weren’t you the ones who tried to dazzle with your shine,

Did you think I’d crumble,

Did you think I’d lay down and die –

Oh no not I!

I will survive.

As long as I’ve got marigolds I know my nails with thrive.

I've got all my nails but one,

Learned how to polish on my own,

I’ll survive,

I will survive,

Hey Hey …….

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